Then I said to myself, “Oh, he even sees me in the dark!
At night I’m immersed in the light!”
It’s a fact: darkness isn’t dark to you;
night and day, darkness and light, they’re all the same to you.
Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother’s womb.
I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration—what a creation!
(Psalm 139:12-13)
I wasn’t quite sure where to start this journey. You see, my hope, my desire is to empower each person I cross paths with. To build them up and encourage them and help them through the good days and the bad. We need each other. In today’s society we deny it. Until someone randomly pays for our food in the drive thru when we just happened to be having a really bad day. And for just a moment we realize how absolutely incredible this journey of life can be when we are for each other.
So, why do I start here? Why do I start of talking about the darkness? Because I believe it is imperative we understand that each and every single one of us are needed in ways no one has the ability to put to words. A few years ago God showed me this verse in a different light. I was struggling with infertility, confused about so much in life and from one day to the next one of my mentors and closest friends decided she no longer wanted the life she was living and decided to walk out of my life. Though only for a season, it was one of the most difficult seasons of my life. The grief of losing someone who is still alive and without understanding it hurt so deeply. And in that God brought me to David’s words in the 139th Psalm.
It was in the darkness of the womb that each of our lives were formed. No light coming from any direction. Just darkness and for most of us, seclusion. Completely dependent on someone we couldn’t see. Helpless in every single way as our bodies developed and we grew stronger. Wiggles turned to kicks and stretches until one day, from the darkest, most secluded point came the miracle of life. Thrust into life and light and placed on a new path forever.
I don’t know who is reading this, I don’t know what you’re going through. Me? Well, I’m nine months postpartum with my third boy and there are still days I want to disappear (don’t worry, I’m taking care of me and have people who do great at making sure I’m okay). I know what it’s like to feel completely surrounded and overwhelmed with darkness. I also know, I’ve come through this before. I know that God takes the most broken and darkest seasons of our lives, and if we allow Him to, He makes them beautiful. He breaths life and from these dark and secluded seasons He forms miracles.
The truth is, even in the utter seclusion of the womb, He knew you. He had a plan for you and He still does and if from that darkness He can bring you into light and breathe life. How much more can He do now? Don’t give up! This is only a season and God is mostly definitely going to birth something beautiful out of it. And when he does, you won’t want to miss it!
And maybe this isn’t you. Maybe you aren’t surrounded by darkness at all but I’m almost certain if you look, you will find you know some, or many who are! Who are going through the day to day motions and doing their best to keep it together but inside are lonely and feel like giving up. For you, I implore you to be a brother, be a sister, be a friend! One of the hardest things about the night season is the seclusion it often brings. Sometimes, simply knowing that no matter how dark it gets, we have people who love us through it all…it completely changes the battle. Be kind, be gentle, be understanding, be a light that helps break up the darkness. You never know when the smallest acts of kindness will renew hope and be used to breathe life!
My Alabaster Life 